[Ana María]

Ensaya lo siguiente para la primera pregunta, para la segunda pregunta como dice David es necesario conocer mas detalles para poderte ayudar.

Código Delphi [-]
unit MiUnit;

interface

uses
  Windows, Messages, SysUtils, Variants, Classes, Graphics, Controls, Forms,
  Dialogs, DB, DBTables, ExtCtrls, DBCtrls, ComCtrls, StdCtrls, Mask;

type
  TForm1 = class(TForm)
    Table1: TTable;
    DataSource1: TDataSource;
    Table1Fecha: TDateTimeField;
    DateTimePicker1: TDateTimePicker;
    procedure DataSource1DataChange(Sender: TObject; Field: TField);
    procedure DataSource1UpdateData(Sender: TObject);
    procedure DateTimePicker1Change(Sender: TObject);
    procedure DateTimePicker1Exit(Sender: TObject);
  private
    FCambiandoFecha: Boolean;
  end;

var
  Form1: TForm1;

implementation

{$R *.dfm}

procedure TForm1.DataSource1DataChange(Sender: TObject; Field: TField);
begin
  if not FCambiandofecha then
  try
    FCambiandoFecha := True;
    DateTimePicker1.Date := Table1Fecha.Value;
  finally
    FCambiandoFecha := False;
  end;
end;

procedure TForm1.DataSource1UpdateData(Sender: TObject);
begin
  Table1Fecha.Value := DateTimePicker1.Date;
end;

procedure TForm1.DateTimePicker1Change(Sender: TObject);
begin
  if not FCambiandoFecha then
  try
    FCambiandoFecha := True;
    DataSource1.Edit;
  finally
    FCambiandoFecha := False;
  end;
end;

procedure TForm1.DateTimePicker1Exit(Sender: TObject);
begin
  if dataSource1.State in dsEditModes then
    Table1.UpdateRecord;
end;

end.